Whether you’re planning for retirement, in the middle of it, or decades away, one thing remains true: feeling relevant plays a crucial role in how satisfied we feel in all areas of life. Relevance isn’t about keeping up with trends or chasing the latest headlines. It’s about knowing that what you do — and who you are — still matters. It’s about being the kind of person others can count on, whether for leadership, expertise, wisdom, humor, or emotional support. Feeling relevant isn’t a luxury; it’s essential for living a connected and meaningful life.
I have a perfect example. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in a retirement community. Last year, I met a man at the sporting club who had been a widower for many years. When I told him about my Inspired Retired project, he nodded thoughtfully and said, “I’ve learned we have to have purpose in our lives. We all need to feel relevant. It’s not always easy.” He told me about his long, loving marriage and the career he’d poured his heart into, and how he’d lost both over time. With those changes, his sense of purpose began to fade. These days, he said, he spent most of his time at the club with friends, playing cards and chatting about the old days.
A few weeks later, I learned that the club’s kids’ program was looking for volunteers. I immediately thought of him and said, “You’d be great with the kids. I bet you’d love it.” He hesitated and said he’d think about it. Two weeks later, he signed up. And guess what? He loved it. He told me that being around those kids gave him fresh energy. They made him laugh, challenged his patience, and reminded him how much he still had to offer. That experience inspired him to get involved in other community projects. In rediscovering his relevance, he rediscovered himself. His story inspired this article.
Relevance fuels our sense of belonging and purpose. It keeps us mentally and emotionally alive. Without it, life can start to feel flat — even if everything looks “fine” on paper. So here’s a question worth asking: on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest, how relevant do you feel right now? This isn’t about success or popularity. It’s about connection — feeling needed, valued, and useful. And sometimes, without realizing it, we drift away from that feeling.
There are many reasons this happens. For some, it’s the loss of a role or identity. We spend so much of our lives defining ourselves by what we do — our careers, our family responsibilities, or the positions we hold — that when those change, it can leave a void. Who are we when we’re no longer “the boss,” “the parent,” or “the go-to person”? For others, it’s isolation. Life transitions often shift our social circles, whether through retirement, moving to a new city, or simply the natural ebb and flow of relationships. With fewer connections, it’s easy to feel less seen and less needed.
Sometimes the issue is a change in routine. A structured schedule gives purpose to our days, and when that structure disappears or slows down, it can leave us feeling unanchored. Then there’s inactivity. Staying busy for the sake of being busy isn’t the answer, but meaningful activity — the kind that engages your mind and heart — absolutely is. Without it, we risk sliding into both physical and mental stagnation. And of course, health plays a role too. When illness or physical limitation enters the picture, it can alter what we’re able to do and affect how we see ourselves. It’s hard to feel relevant when you can’t participate in life the way you used to, but with the right mindset and support, there are always ways to contribute.
So how do we reignite that spark and reconnect with our sense of relevance? One way is through lifelong learning. Take a class, join a workshop, or explore something new. Learning keeps us curious and mentally sharp — and it reminds us that life never stops teaching. Volunteering is another powerful path. When you mentor, share your experience, or simply lend a hand, you not only make a difference in someone else’s life but rediscover your own value in the process. And younger people can keep you current too — not to mention help you figure out how to connect your Bluetooth to your phone.
Hobbies are another source of inspiration. Whether you’re painting, gardening, golfing, or dusting off that guitar you haven’t touched in years, hobbies awaken creativity and joy. They can also lead to new friendships with people who share your interests. Building connections of any kind — through clubs, community events, or even online groups — adds depth and companionship to daily life. After all, everyone needs a buddy who’ll cheer you on, and maybe even drive you to your next colonoscopy.
Finally, there’s power in setting new goals. Remember how goals helped you stay motivated in your career or family life? That same principle applies now. Goals give direction and purpose — they remind us that we still have something to strive for, something that gets us out of bed every morning.
Feeling relevant isn’t about age, status, or stage of life. It’s about showing up — with purpose, with heart, and with the willingness to keep growing. Just like my friend from the sporting club, you can rediscover your sense of meaning by stepping forward, taking part, and sharing what you know. When you do, life feels richer, fuller, and far more connected.
Because relevance isn’t something we lose with time. It’s something we choose to renew — again and again.