Do you wish for change in your life and yet, you continue to stay stuck? Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Are you wanting to make a move, yet unable to take the necessary action?
Why doesn’t everyone ago after their dreams? Or accomplish their goals? What holds some people back? Nine out of ten times, whether you realize it or not, the answer is fear.
Fear comes in many sizes and can take different forms or a combination of flavors.
Fear of the unknown: “There are two ways I could go, and I might make the wrong choice. I’ll just wait until I’m 100 percent sure.”
Fear of repeating the past: “Based on past experience, I don’t really believe in my ability to do this. Think I’ll sit this one out.”
Fear of failure: “If I don’t try, I can’t screw up and look like a fool. I’ll let someone else take that risk.”
Fear of success: “If I do make changes in my life, my friends or family might abandon me. They already seem threatened when I talk about change. Why upset everyone?
And let’s not overlook: Fear of fear itself: “If I keep playing it safe, I may not get what I want, but I won’t have to get out of my comfort zone. I’ll just settle for what I have.”
Notice how every fear is accompanied by an excuse – a reason to stay right where you are. A justification to not take action. A rationalization to stay stuck. You’re in a self-imposed vicious cycle.
Are you feeling isolated and want to make new friends, and yet you keep making excuses not to get out and socialize?
Are you losing strength, flexibility, energy, and yet you continue to justify reasons why you can’t exercise?
Are you lacking purpose in life, and yet you won’t stop for a moment to consider the things that you’re passionate about, that excite you and light you up.
So how do we snap out of it? By taking a clear look at your life. Ask yourself, what do you want this next chapter to look like? How do you want to live? Who do you want to be with? How do you want to give back? How do you want to access your creative expression?
Author Amy Purdy asks us to consider: “If your life was a book and you were the author, how would you want this story to go?” Knowing we get to write the next chapter is empowering to me.
If you’re still working: How do you plan to shift your goals from business to lifestyle?
If you’re semi-retired: How are you filling your free time?
If you are retired: How are you fulfilling your dreams?
Lives change. Plans change. Priorities change. The key is how courageously you choose to adapt. We can’t control what happens. But we can control how we respond.
Life gives us many opportunities to learn and expand. Sometimes these opportunities are hidden in adversity. T. Harv Eker says: “How you do anything is how you do everything.” How we respond to adversity can be as positive, purposeful, and courageous as the way we respond to pleasure.
Bottom line: You can get to wherever you want to go in retirement. Nothing is off base. Do you want more health, love, community, relevancy, creativity, adventure, service? You can design your life to fulfill whatever goal you desire or dream you long for. And yet, there’s always bumps in the road.
Football coach Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, but whether you get back up.” I take it another step: “It’s not whether you get knocked down, (because we know we’re going to get knocked down) but how you get back up… transformed.”
How we purposefully get back up, learn from the fall, and continue to move in the direction of our dreams. How we get back up is a choice! How we respond to life, the lessons we learn and embrace, the intentions we set … are all a choice. So, choose well! Write your next chapter with vision, courage and joy.