Why do we hesitate to act in the first place? Because we focus on our feelings rather than our goals and desires. We feel before we act. In an instant, we literally feel our way into denial, staying stuck, and failure.
Emotions precede feelings. It’s the way we process our emotions – and how we give them meaning through our feelings – that results in how we react.
When we listen to our “gut feelings”, that inner guidance will steer us in the right direction. When we unconsciously react to emotions such as anger, disgust, or disappointment, we tend to go off course.
Psychologist Robert Putchik identified 8 basic emotions and their preceding feelings:
- Fear: feeling of being afraid, frightened, scared
- Anger: feeling upset or rage
- Sadness: feeling sorrow or grief
- Joy: feeling happy, happiness, gladness
- Disgust: feeling something is wrong; strong disapproval
- Surprise: being unprepared for something
- Trust: a positive emotion: admiration, acceptance
- Anticipation: in the sense of looking forward positively to something; expectation.
If your emotions are coming from fear, anger, sadness, or disgust, in most cases your feelings will inspire quick excuses for failure. You’ll find ways to avoid doing what must be done to meet your goals. You will avoid what I call the “tough stuff”.
EMOTION: Fear (of failure)
FEELING: You don’t “feel” like getting rejected. Excuse: Every sales prospect I call is saying NO!
TOUGH STUFF YOU AVOID: Just keep calling until someone says YES.
EMOTION: Sadness (about being overweight)
FEELING: You don’t “feel” like going for a run today. Excuse: If I get tired right away, as usual, I’m probably going to stop.
TOUGH STUFF YOU AVOID: Going the extra mile.
EMOTION: Frustration (at being rejected)
FEELING: You don’t “feel” like reviewing online dating profiles. Excuse: Nobody responds anyway, so why even try?
TOUGH STUFF YOU AVOID: Rewriting your own profile to make yourself more interesting.
Here’s what I tell my audiences: “You’re never going to feel like doing the tough stuff. And yet, it’s the tough stuff that leads to growth, achievement, joy, and success.”
Push yourself to act before you feel yourself out of it. This is precisely why Nike’s invitation “Just do It!” is so powerful. They understand that athletes don’t always feel like exercising, practicing, or showing up. And yet, if they don’t, they will never live up to their full athletic potential.
The good news is, you don’t have to be a pro athlete to put this into practice. As you are reading this, are you thinking of something right now that you know you should do, want to do, must do, and yet, you’re letting your feelings get in the way?
STOP! DON’T FEEL! JUST DO IT! Pick up the phone, put on your sneakers, or rewrite your profile. The more often you acknowledge your feelings and take action, the easier it becomes to stop avoiding the tough stuff.