This is the fourth and final chapter in my After the Fall blog series. And I saved the best for last!
Last week I left you with the idea that, “How we respond to adversity can be as positive, purposeful and courageous as the way we respond to pleasure. It’s a choice.”
OK … let’s say we all agree that “how we respond is a choice.”
I don’t know about you, but I have not always chosen to respond well in my post-adversity moments. Hah!
I’d say I have a history of ‘reacting’ rather than ‘responding.’ Reacting, meaning my emotions take over before any purposeful ‘responding’ can develop.
During the two months of recovery after the fall, I continually encountered opportunities to either react or respond. “How can I open this jar?” “How do I zip these pants?” “How do I type on my laptop?” “How do I get my two travel bags into the elevator, through the lobby and outside to the Uber driver without making two trips?”
I decided early on to set an intention to help keep me in ‘respond’ mode rather than ‘react’ mode. If you aren’t familiar with setting intentions, it’s simple to do – you just find or create a statement that is easy to remember and encapsulates the outcome you want. I posted my intention statement in strategic places around my home: at my desk, on the bathroom mirror, by my bed and in the kitchen.
I decided to set an ‘incident-specific’ intention, since this had worked for me in the past. In late 2010, when I was dealing with the unexpected end of my marriage, my intention was “Be willing to see things differently.” Whew! I was allowing my grief to become pervasive in all areas of my life. My willingness to see things differently allowed me to respond to my grief on my terms … proactively and with dignity … rather than react impulsively as a victim.
Is there a situation in your life right now where by being willing to see things differently, you can more readily respond on your terms?
I turned to this practice again in 2014 when I had a little health scare. I am recovered and healthy now … but while we were figuring out a diagnosis, I was scared. Before I allowed myself to emotionally go to the dark side, I read a phrase that seemed perfect. “Something good will come of this.” Good one, right?
I didn’t know what my ultimate prognosis would be, but leaning on the idea that ‘something good will come of this’ allowed me to respond on my terms and avoid giving in to fear.
So, with this history of setting the intention to respond rather than react, it just made sense to create one after the fall.
I came up with, “What left-handed lesson can I learn today?” I declared this statement every morning with a laugh. I wanted to find the fun in the situation rather than the frustration. It worked like a charm!
What is happening in your life right now where the right intention can help you respond rather than react and find the fun in the lessons?
Setting intentions has been so beneficial, I continue to use them as part of my daily personal development practice to set my perspective as life unfolds.
And that’s the BADA BOOM to the whole story!
Regardless of what we are experiencing … adversity or celebration … we can purposefully respond rather than react. We can purposefully set our perspective. We can respond on our terms rather than react impulsively.
OK … there is one more lesson to the story. Oprah says don’t drive and text. Leslie says, don’t walk and work on your phone. Hah!