The fear of success often shows up as self-doubt, as an inner voice reminding you that you probably can’t handle the success you want.
― Russel Bishop, executive coach, author of Workarounds That Work
This fear is often overlooked. Some people find it hard to believe fear of success even exists. After all, they think, who wants to go through life always missing out?
On the surface, fear of success might seem preposterous. I mean, what could possibly be so scary about success? Plenty! If you’re a certain type of individual.
I work with top sales leaders. I’ve seen fear of success manifest in a variety of ways. I’ve learned to recognize some telltale signs that something’s amiss:
- Where once they were committed and consistent with their efforts, they slow down, hesitate, or stop altogether.
- They make strategic, detailed action plans, yet don’t actually do anything to implement them.
- They procrastinate. “Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do next week… next month… or next year!”
- Their time management is poor. For example, doing the least important things first; most important last, or if they run out of time, not at all.
- They frequently make excuses for their lack of decisive action; or resort to the rationalization, “Maybe next time?”
- They reach a marginal level of accomplishment, then quit. As psychologist and writer Gay Hendricks puts it, they refuse to take The Big Leap.
And isn’t this what many of us do when we’re afraid? We come up with convenient excuses and rationalizations. These are some of the limiting thoughts that reside in the mind of someone with fear of success:
- “I don’t have time for this.”
- “This really isn’t a fit for me.”
- “What was I thinking when I started this?”
- “There’s no way I can deliver, so why try?”
- “This really isn’t my thing.”
Where does fear of success come from? Perhaps when you were younger you said something grand like, “I’m going to land the lead role in the school play!” or “I’m going to win first prize in the science fair!” or “I’m going to sell more Girl Scout cookies than anyone!” And the person you declared that to said something to the effect of, “No you’re not!” “You don’t have what it takes.” “No one in our family has ever done anything like that.” “Girls can’t do that!” “Boys don’t do that!” “What makes you think you’re better than everyone else?” “Don’t get bigger than your britches!”
And your young mind took in that limiting belief and started playing a tape – a tape filled with disqualifiers: “I’m not special.” “Not me.” “Not in my family.” “What makes me think I can do that?” And all those thoughts around lack of deserve, and lack of worth, and lack of possibilities became the tape that plays every time you think about doing something great; reaching, striving, dreaming. And depending on how old you are, that tape has been running in an endless loop for a long time.
Well, you know what? You can stop that tape and record over it. You are not that little girl or little boy anymore. With awareness you can create a new message of belief, courage, and commitment.