Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer. ― Mark Amend, writer, poet
When we are struck with fear of rejection, we become convinced that people won’t accept or approve of us due to our opinions, looks, personality, values, beliefs, or behavior. Now that’s a tough way to move through the world, isn’t it?
For some people, the idea of somebody telling them “No!” is so painful they’ll freeze up and refuse to take action rather than risk hearing that scary word. Why is this? Perhaps, at a pivotal point in your life, somebody told you no who you really liked, or who you loved, or highly respected. Perhaps they not only told you no, they gave you a harsh no that hurt your feelings.
One thing is clear, fear of rejection can negatively influence your daily decisions, choices, and actions. In fact, while under the influence of this fear you will do things that you normally would not do. Fear of rejection can:
- Keep you from sharing your opinions. You hold back because you are worried people will disapprove or disagree with you.
- Lead you to copy the behavior of other people. You’re afraid to be different or uniquely yourself.
- Tie your personal fulfillment to external factors. Your emotional experiences are attached to other people’s comments, criticism, feelings, or praise.
Consider how this is playing out in your life. How are you holding back or shrinking? What are you avoiding? What are you denying yourself? How are you limiting yourself because your fear of rejection is more powerful than your desires?
Are you ignoring a yearning to change careers? Tell someone you care? Move to a new city? Ask for a raise?
You may believe that past experience equals current experience. But you are not a prisoner of the past. When you develop the mindset to resist rejection, you can apply it to any area of your life. For example, after three decades, I’ve developed complete confidence in my ability to succeed in my business. I never take rejection personally. In fact, when it comes to rejection, I am bulletproof. Now, I just have to plug-in that same business confidence to extend it to other areas of my life.
Where in your life is fear of rejection limiting your potential to be your best self? If you continue down this path, you are purposefully setting yourself up for a life full of regret. This doesn’t have to be the case. You can learn to combat your fear of rejection and live a life of adventure.